SOPHIE APPEL

ALWAYS THE DEVIL

waves’ll throw me back against 
grating black rocks 
in the ocean
when it’s out of your hands he said it not me 
Anything but dreamless I think what the fuck?
Bones on bones are a result from the wearing down of cartilage 
I watch rhythm become padding,
Everyone else gets to be visible 
climbing a vine recounting unmanageable or otherwise 
scenes cascading God grant me the serenity 
Hold on dear brother, it’ll change everything
I myself am down bathed in a pit of blue water  
where my stomach fell 
Departure is out of the question and there’s no gauntlet my hands are  
Fisting the honey jar shoveling handfuls into our mouths midday or at night 
Focus varies greatly when sending out line and pulling back nothing 
Crooked and deploying stories to every one like crazy 
The year of values is upon me shortly or else 
Hiding is a punishment meant for nobody 

RESTORATION

I can’t get enough

controlling my beloved whenever

I’m obsessed with unforgivable men

On the year of war we turn

from the steel mill and drive to the beach

I make plans and god accepts

An ache pulls toward beginning each time

we’re drinking from shells or cups

Possessed by the hard part, being living

Convinced of my diligence, I tell you

lazy is spelled like gambling

We make a grotto filled with soup and the moon

our ragu behind us now

To leave it in the room and not bring it home

I needed to be here tonight

Calling an open line to ask for council,

overindulge is spilled like weather

Sophie Appel is a poet, curator, and historical map archivist based in Los Angeles. Her work has been published through SPECTRA, Dunce Codex, Car Crash Collective/ Metalabel, Bruiser Mag, & more. Her debut collection of poetry, The World’s Largest Cherry Pie was published by Dream Boy Book Club. She tends to Melrose Botanical Garden in its various forms and iterations and is the host of Spit in the Ocean on Lower Grand Radio.